


all the bad dreams that you hide (show me yours, i'll show you mine)

by shrikeandthorn



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, First Time, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:34:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29980878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrikeandthorn/pseuds/shrikeandthorn
Summary: Dani had never quite understood it, the feeling of home.(i kept having thoughts and feelings about the little talks they might've had during their first night together.)
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	all the bad dreams that you hide (show me yours, i'll show you mine)

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time sharing publicly any kind of writing, please bear with me.  
> also english is not my first language, so please excuse any mistakes ahead.
> 
> thank you blaine for offering your help and much needed nit picking comments :)

The soft night drizzle that had been falling upon them quickly turned into a summer storm. It had been a while, perhaps, but she doesn’t care. She can feel the fur on her coat getting heavy on her shoulders, but she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care at all.

All she cares about is Jamie. Jamie’s hand pressed on her back, pulling her closer. Jamie’s hair, tangled between her fingers. Jamie’s lips, that she could’ve been kissing for minutes, or hours, but she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care at all.

Jamie shifts in her arms, ever so slightly.

“We should go back,” she whispers against her lips, forehead pressed against hers, “it’s raining quite a bit, now. Don’t want you to catch a cold.”

Dani nods, barely moving, enjoying the feeling of Jamie so close to her. Jamie’s gaze, warm amidst the cold breeze of the night. Jamie’s scent, filling the short space between them.

With a shaky sigh she breaks their embrace, as Jamie takes her hand and guides her through the dark hidden gardens of Bly Manor.

::::::::

They stand at the Manor’s front door for a short time, while the storm hits the grounds with newfound strength.

“I should, uh… get going, then,” Jamie breaks their silence, after clearing her throat.

Dani looks up at her. “No!”, she exclaims, louder than intended. Jamie blinks, shocked, “I mean… you shouldn’t drive, with the storm. It’s not safe.”

“Right, so. D’you want me to stay the night, then?” Jamie teases behind a smirk.

Dani sends a reprimanding glare at the gardener, trying to hide the blush rising in her cheeks.

“Are you sure, Poppins? Y’know, there’s no hurry. The night can take us just here, and nowhere beyond, and that’s alright. It can wait another night.” Jamie reassures.

“But I want to— Tonight. I mean. If you want to. I— I don’t want to wait another night” confesses Dani, stuttering.

Jamie doesn’t answer. Instead, she takes Dani’s hand again, opening the door for her, and guiding her inside.

::::::::

They walk the silent, dark hallways of the manor, wooden floors cracking with each small step, trying to make as little noise as possible. Since Hannah had been in charge, the kids would be fast asleep by now, and they wouldn’t want to wake them.

As they approach her bedroom door, Dani hears her heart begin to race in her chest, and feels giddy with excitement. A nervous giggle climbs up her throat while opening the door as she lets Jamie walk in, turning on the lamp on the bedside table.

“Everything all right?” asks Jamie, mild concern hiding behind her smile. 

Dani doesn’t reply. She steps closer to Jamie and takes her face in her hands, kissing her instead. Jamie kisses her back, like she always does, a smile drawn on her lips as she places her hands on Dani’s waist. Dani lets out a shaky breath against Jamie’s mouth, before breaking their distance to keep kissing her, trying not to think about how badly her hands begin to shake when she lowers them to find the hem of Jamie’s jeans.

“Wait, Dani. Hold on.” Jamie whispers, taking a step back. “Are you sure about this? I wouldn’t want to rush anything.”

“I am. I just— I want to do things right, with you. Everything. But this, especially. And I don’t really know how— It wasn’t right, before. With him. And I want to do it right.”

Jamie takes her hands, softly caressing them with her thumbs. “That’s all right. We don’t have to wait another night, but there’s no hurry, okay? We can take our time.”

Dani nods, feeling the pressure on her chest lighten a little, taking back the step that separated her from Jamie. She leans in closer, foreheads touching, and in the warmth of Jamie’s hazel eyes she finds the ease her racing heart needed.

Jamie’s kiss is always right, like her lips were meant to kiss Dani’s all along. Jamie’s kiss is always sweet, the taste of her breath being just what Dani craves. Jamie’s kiss is always perfect, like each touch of their lips had been written to happen exactly like that.

They move slowly together to the side of the bed, taking off their soaked coats and dumping them ln the floor. Jamie breaks their kiss to sit on the bed, and Dani watches her as she takes off her shoes, doing the same while standing. Through the corner of her eye she sees Jamie scoop in deeper in her mattress, sitting between her pillows; and so she follows, straddling her lap.

She takes a moment to look at Jamie, the shape of her eyebrows, the soft skin of her cheeks, the sweet corner of her lips that turns into a smile beneath her fingertips. She brings her face closer and kisses her again, slow and deep, before looking down at her.

“You’re beautiful”, Dani whispers, tucking Jamie’s hair behind her ears and feeling her jaw relax under her touch.

“You already got me in your bed, Poppins, no need to flirt anymore,” Jamie jokes, kissing her neck.

Dani laughs and she feels Jamie do the same against her skin. She moves her hands from the back of Jamie’s head down to her arms, and makes it again to the hem of her jeans, gripping on her shirt as Jamie kisses below her earlobe.

“Can I?” she asks shyly, toying with the fabric between her fingers.

Jamie doesn’t reply. Instead sits up straight, helping Dani take off her shirt.

Dani looks down at her again, the shadows on her chest drawn from the tiny light beside them. She traces the line of Jamie’s collarbone with her fingers, drawing the edge of her bra, feeling the soft skin shiver beneath her touch. She hadn’t expected Jamie to be this soft. Her hands are gentle but calloused from hard work, whereas the skin on her chest and stomach are peach fuzz smooth, the delicate lines of her neck are silky against her lips when she kisses her.

She feels shivers up her spine when Jamie graces the skin on her hips, letting her hands travel a little under her sweater. Her hands, known to have scars and old wounds, are gentle and caring, touching Dani as if something frail beneath her fingertips.

“Can I?” Jamie asks back.

Dani nods, and Jamie, slowly but surely, helps her take off her pink sweater, letting out a low laugh when Dani strongly tosses it on the ground.

Jamie’s gaze is like her voice, Dani feels, and so she listens. She listens when Jamie takes a breath while tracing the outline of her throat with her thumbs. She listens while Jamie maps the contour of her breasts with the back of her fingers and follows down to her stomach. She listens as Jamie looks up at her and says nothing, yet everything she needed to hear.

 _We’ll take our time_ , Jamie had said, and Dani obeyed. She studied Jamie’s body, the shape of her shoulders, the easy line that went from her chest to her hips. She observed the invisible lines drawn between the freckles on her stomach, feeling muscles tense against her touch. She kissed Jamie’s palms when she had reached up to her, gently cupping her face and bringing her closer.

With a quick movement, Jamie shifts their position, embracing Dani’s waist with her arms and letting her lay on her back and fitting comfortably on top, like she had done that a million times, in another lifetime. Dani lets out a quiet gasp, shocked.

“Did I hurt you?” Jamie asks, worried.

“Huh? No, no. I was just, uh— surprised,” Dani confesses, feeling her cheeks redden at the feeling of Jamie’s body above her.

“Sorry Poppins, you were getting a little risky,” she teases, “I wouldn’t have been able to take our time if you had kept going.”

Dani lets out a laugh, half nervous half excited. “You’re so silly,” she whispers, slapping Jamie’s shoulder lightly.

“What? I’m being serious! I never thought you’d be the first to get spicy, is all.”

“I never was, really. I wanted to, but I never felt like it. It didn’t feel right, you know? I didn’t really want to do, uh, anything, really.”

“And what do you want to do now?” Jamie asks, voice teasing but eyes earnest.

“Everything.”

::::::::

Jamie’s kiss is always good, even more so now that she’s marking her way down Dani’s body, writing invisible words from her neck to her chest. Jamie traces the line of her collarbone with the tip of her nose, taking a deep breath.

“You smell like flowers” Jamie murmurs, barely moving her lips against her skin.

“Flowers? How awfully generic, for a gardener,” replies Dani, tickles going up her collar.

Jamie raises her head from underneath Dani’s chin, mischief shining in the hazel of her eyes. “You smell like freshly watered _convallaria majalis_ in an early autumn morning.”

“ _Conva_ — what?” Dani giggles, dumbfounded.

“Lily of the valley. How’s that for generic, miss Clayton?”

“Won’t you look at that,” Dani whispers, “you learn something new everyday.”

“You’re going to learn so much tonight,” Jamie mumbles, kissing the corner of her lips.

Jamie moves slowly, carefully, but surely. Her fingertips travel down Dani’s chest, resting her hand beneath the hem of her bra, while shifting her body so one of her legs is placed between Dani’s. She lets out a shaky gasp, startled at the sensation rising in her belly. Jamie looks up at her, unspoken question in her pupils. Dani simply nods her head and takes Jamie’s face in her hands, bringing her closer and kissing her as an answer.

Jamie’s kiss is reassuring, deep and calming, in contrast with the rush rising from her calves up to her hips, that jerk against Jamie’s thigh. Dani kisses Jamie’s low giggle, burying her hands in her hair.

Jamie’s touch is gentle and kind, yet it burns against Dani’s skin in ways it almost hurts. It almost hurts when her hands travel up her back to unhook her bra. It almost hurts when her fingertips travel through her sides to her front, caressing her chest with lingering movement. It almost hurts when she places a kiss on her heart, hot breath against even hotter skin. 

“Wait,” Jamie moves rapidly away from her body, and Dani shivers at the absence of her warmth above her. She looks at Jamie’s eyes, eyebrows suddenly turned into a frown. “If something doesn’t feel right, tell me. Stop me. If you want to stop, at any moment, say so. And I will.”

“It doesn’t”, Dani whispers, hands travelling up Jamie’s arms, feeling the muscles tense beneath her touch. “I mean, it doesn’t feel wrong. I don’t think anything’s felt more right in my entire life” she continues, the earnest confession coming out easily.

Jamie’s fingers draw the line of jaw, her touch so delicate it makes Dani feels dizzy, and she kisses her again, nodding an answer against her lips.

::::::::

There’s so much Jamie everywhere around her Dani begins to feel lightheaded. Jamie’s weight on her, hot skin against her half-naked body. Jamie’s lips leaving sweet quick kisses from her neck up her jaw till reaching Dani’s, kisses turning deep and hot breathed. Jamie’s hands traveling from her hips to her waist, reaching the hem of her jeans. She looks down at Dani, eyes asking for permission. Dani grants it with a nod against her forehead, breath becoming agitated as her hips move up closer to Jamie.

Jamie’s touch is like a dream, an unspoken wish, a quiet desire being at last fulfilled. Dani gasps for air and shivers travel up her back. Rhythm quickly turns fast paced, Jamie’s fingers exploring deeper into her pleasure. Dani digs her nails into Jamie’s skin, forehead pressed against her shoulder, breath rising.

With a sudden move, Jamie pulls away from Dani’s body, slowly decreasing the speed of her hand’s movement as she sits up. Dani looks up at her, skin suddenly cold and head confused. Not saying a word, Jamie makes her way to the front of her trousers.

“May I?”, she asks, toying with the buttons between her fingers.

Dani nods and moves up her hips on dangling ankles, helping Jamie take off her clothing and underwear all together. She throws them unceremoniously, almost hitting the lamp on the bedside table. Dani giggles at Jamie’s whispered apology, reaching down to her, but Jamie stays there. She lowers herself and kisses Dani’s legs up her calves and down her thighs, bringing her face closer to Dani’s warmth.

“What are you doing?” Dani asks suddenly, leaning on her elbows to look down at Jamie.

“What do you think I’m doing?” Jamie responds, voice quiet and teasing. Dani blinks, perplexity and embarrassment rushing up her cheeks. “Wait, you’ve never— he never…?”

“Kissed me? There?” interrupts Dani, higher than she wished.

Jamie tries to hide the shock and mild disappointment on her face. “That’s okay,” she whispers, “we don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” She says, moving up closer to Dani’s face again.

“I— it’s okay. I—I want to,” Dani stutters with a shaky breath. “Does it feel good?” she wonders, her voice genuine.

“It should,” Jamie affirms next to her lips. “Do you trust me?” she asks, leaving a kiss in the corner of her mouth. Dani replies by nodding into her kiss. “Then it will. But let me know if it doesn’t, alright?”

Dani bows her head again in agreement, kissing her with the promise that nothing could ever feel wrong with her, not like this. She’s momentarily sad Jamie’s face moves away from her, but a quiet gasp makes it go away when Jamie kisses her way down her neck to her breastbone, teeth biting on soft skin, sliding to her stomach and placing herself between Dani’s legs once more. She kisses Dani’s thighs, hot breath close to even hotter flesh.

Jamie’s kiss is always right, now more than ever that she’s kissing Dani where she most needs it, keeping the hazel of her eyes right on her face, looking for any signs of discomfort. Dani doesn’t think she’s ever felt this much, as she feels Jamie humming against the damp heat between her legs. As Jamie works with her lips, fingers and tongue making her entire body quiver.

She raises her hands from Jamie’s hair up to her mouth, trying to hide the until now unheard sounds coming from it. She feels a new wave of pleasure, born in Jamie’s mouth and spreading throughout her entire body. Dani hides her face into the pillow in an attempt to quiet Jamie’s name escaping her lips in a final cry when her mind shuts down. Her eyes go black as her body contracts in on itself, muscles clenching as she falls.

She doesn’t know how long it’s been, her brain seemingly leaving her body is something that had never happened before. She feels Jamie’s lips still on her, leaving hot, wet kisses on her thighs and up her stomach. She travels up her body until reach her eye level and stares at her, helping her keep her hair way from her eyes and forehead, now dripping in sweat.

“How are you feeling?” Jamie questions, soaked fingertips stroking her jawline.

“That was— that was—”, Dani pants, her body still vibrating. “That felt _right_ ” she manages to say at last. “Like— _that’s_ how it’s supposed to be, isn’t it?”

“I would say so, yeah” Jamie smiles down at her. “I told you you’d learn a lot tonight.”

Dani rolls her eyes at her, cupping her face to bring her close and kiss her, tasting herself on Jamie’s lips. She still feels dizzy, thoughts mixed and out of order, but there’s no confusion in her mind about the rising feeling in her chest when she feels Jamie giggle against her lips.

She can get used to this.

::::::::

“So that’s why he liked it so much,” Dani wanders off, staring at the ceiling.

“You didn’t?” asks Jamie, laying on her stomach by her side.

Dani shakes her head. “No, not really. I— I kinda hated it, actually. The way he’d say he was making me his. I didn’t get it” she sighs. “And I still don’t. I don’t think that’s what this is about, is it? It feels more like— giving a part of yourself to someone else for them to… take care of it, in a way.”

“That’s a nice way to put it” Jamie agrees.

“I want to take care of yours, too” Dani blurts out, turning on her side to look at Jamie, who blinks in shock. “If you let me— and want me to, I mean.”

Jamie lets out a soft chuckle. “That’s alright, Poppins. There’s no hurry. There’ll be other nights. You can catch your breath first.”

“Right”, Dani giggles, becoming aware of her sudden bravado.

She stares at Jamie, past her eyes and the shape of her nose, the corners of her lips turned into a tiny smile, her relaxed jawline. Her eyes travel down her neck, over her shoulders, and the sweaty curls stuck on her nape.

“Stars!” she exclaims, slightly louder than both expected and allowed at the time.

Jamie stares at her, resting on her shoulders to be closer to her level. “I beg your pardon?” she asks, bewilderment drawn on her face.

Dani moves quickly, straddling the back of Jamie’s thighs. “I had a space phase. As a kid,” she explains, fingertips tracing invisible lines on Jamie’s back, “I went up to the library and picked all the books and encyclopaedias I could find, and I spent an entire summer learning about the outer space. I memorised all the constellations — well, most of them. And then I saw them everywhere,” she tells Jamie, goosebumps rising under her touch. “My mom’s polka dot skirts, connect the dots drawings, marbles on the floor, class stickers… Never freckles, though.”

Jamie nods, listening carefully as Dani sends shivers up her spine. “So which ones can you see?” she murmurs, both wondering and teasing.

“Hm, let me see. These kinda look like Ursa Minor, the Little Bear.” She points at the middle of Jamie’s backside. She toys with the hook of Jamie’s bra until she nods, then unties it with shaky fingers. “These… maybe Pisces. They’re supposed to be fish, though it doesn’t look like it first glance,” she points out, feeling Jamie arch her back in the slightest way. “Oh! This looks like Aries,” Dani marks with a kiss on each freckle pointed. “These… definitely Hydra, the biggest one,” she breathes, hand going up Jamie’s arm, touch light and slow paced. “And these could be Cassiopeia, the Queen”, she announces, connecting three moles near her neck, with one kiss each.

She feels Jamie shiver underneath her, and it sends a buzzing feeling down her own belly. She continues kissing her up her neck, her hands traveling down her sides to her hips. Jamie’s hands go from her face onto the pillow, fingers clawed into the fabric, trying to keep balance on her elbows.

“Dani…”, she groans, before turning her face to kiss her. It’s a somewhat awkward angle, but neither of them cares in the slightest.

Kisses quickly become hot breathed and fast paced, and Dani feels Jamie’s hips begin to roll lightly beneath her weight. She moves away a little, and Jamie follows her so they’re both standing on their knees, Dani’s thigh between Jamie’s legs. Dani embraces Jamie, enjoying the feeling of her stomach tense under her hand, and reaches for her face, fingers gripping on Jamie’s neck before kissing her again. Jamie digs her nails on Dani’s thigh in an attempt to bring her closer, if possible, to her back, and Dani responds, hand now able to travel up her body to cup her breast, heart racing underneath her palm.

She travels down Jamie’s abdomen, breath heavy and agitated, reaching the button of her jeans. Jamie unbuttons them fast— too fast — and it makes Dani go a little crazy. She slides her hand into Jamie’s underwear, cupping damp warmth.

“Show me,” she pleads with a whisper into Jamie’s ear, head drawn back into her shoulder. “Show me how to do it, please.”

And so she does. She takes Dani’s hand, guiding her fingers lower and then up inside her, melted heat welcoming her. Jamie lets out a shaky groan, eyelids fluttering. Dani follows Jamie’s movements, carefully but surely, as she guides her through her core.

Later on, Jamie shifts her wrist, steering Dani’s thumb up to a harder feeling spot, and Dani knows. She tries to draw small circles around it, like she had felt Jamie do to her.

“Oh — Jesus, fuck,” Jamie grunts, biting her lip to prevent further profanities. She leaves Dani’s hand to grab back into her, bringing her impossibly closer now. Dani kisses her extended neck, teeth biting on her shoulder-blade, and Jamie thrusts her hips harder onto her fingers, sliding to the knuckle. “A bit faster,” she begs, voice urgent yet gentle.

Dani obeys, fingers slipping fast inside Jamie, circling the soft spot, with movements barely needed for Jamie’s own instinctive rolling pace. She feels Jamie’s entire body shake, muscles tensing and tightening around her fingers. She hears Jamie mutter her name once, twice, stuttering unintelligible words into the cold air, knees trembling as she breaks.

She doesn’t move an inch, taking a moment to look at Jamie. Her head still rests on Dani’s shoulder, forehead drawn with droplets of sweat that stick curls onto her face. Her lips parted and trembling, her eyes still closed, her body convulsing one final time.

Dani slides her fingers out of Jamie’s warmth and brings them up to her lips, almost instinctively.

“I wanted to know what you tasted like,” she answers the unasked question painted in Jamie's pupils.

“Jesus, Poppins,” whispers Jamie, voice hoarse and shaky. “Give me a moment so I can feel my legs again.”

Dani laughs, face buried in the back of Jamie’s neck. “It’s okay, I can wait. The night can take us just here, and nowhere beyond, and I’m more than happy with that,” she reassures, laying small kisses on hot skin.

Jamie’s body relaxes in her arms, drifting away slowly until she’s laying on her back. Dani lays by her side, hand instinctively falling on her stomach. They stay like that for a while, what feels to Dani like a long minute. There's just the sound of Jamie’s breath and the storm outside, slowly dissipating.

“Thank you,” Jamie murmurs, lips barely moving. Dani looks back at her and furrows her eyebrows. Jamie continues, “for choosing me to… take care of you. For trusting me.” She raises her hand up to take Dani’s on her abdomen, intertwining their fingers. 

Dani smiles, bright and big, light blush rushing up her cheeks. “Thank you for teaching me,” she says back.

“Oh I’ve learnt things too, alright,” grins Jamie, low and breathy. “Like, constellations and such,” she finishes with a chuckle.

Dani waves her hands around, slapping Jamie’s shoulder lightly, trying to distract her from the blood rushing to her face.

“I’d love to keep on learning, Miss Clayton,” she jokes drawing shapes on Dani’s chest with her fingertips. “Maybe in the morning?” she suggest, voice tired but teasing.

Dani nods and kisses her, once, twice. Lays little kisses on her cheeks, the corner of her lips, the edge of her jawline, burying her face in Jamie’s neck.

Dani had never quite understood it, the feeling of home. Even more so, when people took it beyond the walls of the place you grew up in. She had assumed _that_ was her home, even if she hadn’t spent that much time there. Later on, she had been told Edmund would be her home, and so she believed it. She had never quite understood it, the feeling behind it. The true feeling behind calling _someone_ , your home. She had never quite understood it, until now, with Jamie’s soft breath falling on the top of her head. Not until now, legs tangled with Jamie’s beneath the blankets in the middle of a summer storm, an ocean way from the place she grew up in and the body of the man that could’ve been.

She understands it now, as her own heartbeat begins to match the one pounding next to her ear. She understands that tonight her home is the four walls of her room in the manor, and maybe tomorrow, a small flat above a boring old pub. Her home is Jamie, wherever she is. Her home is Jamie’s scent, being all around her, her pillows, her bed. Her home is Jamie’s voice whimpering her name. Her home is Jamie’s taste smeared over her lips. Her home is Jamie and the safety she provided.

Dani had never quite understood it, the feeling of home, until she looked at Jamie’s eyes, every time a different colour, but always the right one, and knew that’s where she’d wanted to be for the rest of her days.

“Goodnight, Poppins,” she hears Jamie whisper, voice distant like a dream.

“Goodnight, Jamie.”

She was quite certain she’d sleep well.


End file.
